On final week’s submit about company year-end presents, some readers shared even extra tales of firm presents that went terribly fallacious. Listed here are 10 extra that made me chortle.
1. The locusts
“My prior firm gave everybody a small tree and inspired individuals to plant it. Now these have been small seedlings perhaps 2 inches within a small cup utilized by dentists for mouthwash and what not. Upon receiving them we learn the title ‘Honey Locusts.’ They actually gave us locusts for worker appreciation. Additionally they advisable we plant these on our property or randomly plant them on some one else’s property. These timber develop to be very massive and my property couldn’t accommodate. Two weeks later an e-mail went out stating, ‘Please don’t plant your timber at work, we don’t personal the property.’”
2. The blown glass
“I as soon as attended a convention the place everybody acquired a blown glass sculpture. An extremely fragile blown glass sculpture. All through the ultimate session, and the bus trip again to our resort, the sounds of breaking glass may very well be heard – if it touched something, it went kaboom. Additionally, I used to be flying house the following morning! So I took each article of clothes I needed to spare, packed them across the silly factor as tightly as I may, and hoped for the very best. By some means it survived, however many didn’t. It was actually fairly, and I’m positive it was costly, however…who thought that was a good suggestion?”
“In January of 2020 all of us acquired a pack of Emergen-C with a notice saying ‘Carry it on 2020!’ (in reference to chilly and flu season) and it aged like milk on a summer time day.”
4. The hammers
“My firm often simply does hoodies or jackets, one yr was very nice laptop computer backpacks, one other yr they acquired everybody these actually good emergency automobile kits — large pink luggage, first help, mylar blankets, tire inflation, reflecting cones, flares, these reduce the seatbelt instruments, and extra. Normally a hit. Then got here the brand new girl who satisfied the companions that $100 present playing cards have been good.
You assume, ‘No drawback,’ proper?
Welp … you’d be fallacious. They got here in these large bins which you’d open to discover a hammer and a bit of concrete that you just needed to bash your approach via to get to your card … which have been to issues like auto elements shops or Cabellas or bass professional outlets.
That was a loud afternoon adopted by a harm evaluation as a result of we had desks smashed up, a ridiculous variety of wi-fi mice destroyed … one man missed his rock and slammed his cellular phone useless middle … a damaged monitor and one dented hood by a man who figured hurling it off the loading dock can be quicker.
Been all hoodies ever since.”
5. The parade
“At a earlier job, through the busy season, everybody salaried was required to work a certain quantity of weekly unpaid time beyond regulation, perhaps 10-12 hours. In ‘gratitude,’ the corporate house owners would periodically PARADE via the workplace handing out small presents. Very small, low-cost presents — as soon as it was a packet of off model tortilla chips and a shelf-stable container of ‘nacho cheese.’ Throughout this little parade (house owners and their assistants, toting a Bluetooth speaker blaring music), we employees have been anticipated to drop no matter we have been doing to CHEER for the house owners as they benevolently handed out low-cost snacks, like aristocrats handing pennies to the peasants.”
6. The deck of playing cards
“My outdated firm gave everybody a deck of playing cards with the corporate brand on it. OK, tremendous, everybody wants a deck of playing cards, not the worst present ever. However then we opened them.
As an alternative of the usual, fits and numbers, the playing cards had the Firm Values on them, with symbols similar to these values. The highest card contained directions for a go-fish-type sport we have been meant to play with them. ‘Do you’ve any Innovation? Go fish.’
So mainly, the one factor you can do with the playing cards was play this silly sport. A bunch of us punched holes in our card decks and strung them collectively and hung them across the workplace like vacation garlands.”
7. The rock
“I as soon as obtained a rock with the phrase ‘belief’ written on it in sharpie. Morale was notably unhealthy on the time and administration thought “belief rocks” would assist. Some rocks have been thrown.”
8. The fireplace blankets
“I labored in a nursing house tied to a big worldwide non secular charity for eight years. They gave us an annual present, which is uncommon in my nation. There was no want for any present, it wouldn’t have come off as bizarre or low-cost. However yr after yr they gifted us hearth blankets. The primary yr I believed this was helpful. The second yr I questioned if that they had forgotten about final yr. The third yr I questioned if that they had simply obtained a large hearth blankets donation they have been going via slowly. The fourth yr I questioned if they simply assumed we repeatedly set stuff on hearth and went via one blanket per yr. The fifth yr I understood we have been trapped in an limitless loop. The sixth yr I began a weblog about it. The seventh yr I regarded up if there was a facet of that faith I had neglected that someway related to fireside and blankets. The eighth yr they lastly broke me, and I regarded ahead to receiving my well-earned blanket, no additional questioning of The Blanket.
I nonetheless have three of them, 12 years after leaving that place.”
9. The appreciation kits
“My husband, a middle-school instructor whose college determined to hurry headlong again into in-person lessons in fall of 2020, was given an ‘appreciation package’ by his college on the primary day of sophistication (as have been all of the academics). One tiny bottle of hand sanitizer, two 5-count packets of disinfectant wipes, a T-shirt within the college colours that stated ‘we’re all on this collectively,’ and a booklet with the quantity and web site for the native psychological well being disaster line.
Roughly one-quarter of the educating workers left after the 2020-2021 college yr. For some motive.”
10. The SIM card switch
“Just a few years in the past, I used to be working in a telecoms firm. This was earlier than ‘sensible’ telephones have been a factor — and to switch your contacts from one machine to a different, you wanted to manually copy them to your SIM card, then insert your outdated SIM into your new cellphone, switch them to the brand new cellphone, after which lastly put your new SIM card into the brand new cellphone — an entire ache to do!
One yr, as a part of an worker ‘Christmas stocking’ filled with in any other case unobjectionable issues, the corporate gave us a helpful little machine to assist automate this switch. You place your outdated SIM card in a single finish, and the brand new one within the different and voila! contacts transferred. Besides this factor didn’t work. In any respect. What it did as an alternative was wipe your outdated SIM card of all data — in order that may very well be a whole bunch of contacts fully misplaced — and this was from a time when individuals didn’t again up their contacts (and a few telephones didn’t allow you to copy contacts, solely transfer them, so the contacts have been misplaced from the outdated cellphone too). Evidently, this didn’t generate a lot Christmas cheer.”